The importance of incorporating self-nurture into your daily life…
From licensed therapist, NYT Best Selling Author, Relationship Expert and friend of Free People, Dr. Nedra Tawwab.
Self-care is everywhere you look.
Folks practice Self-Care Sunday, tagging trips to the spa with #selfcare, but in reality, a lot of us are practicing after-care or crisis-management care. These types of care kick in when we are already depleted. We wait until we are triggered, or until there is an emergency that forces us to pay attention to our needs and offer ourselves some nurturing. After someone makes us angry, we start taking some deep breaths. After our edges have fallen out we start oiling our scalp. After we’re burnt out we take a girls’ trip with our friends. After we have a long day and are feeling exhausted, we take a bath.
There are some days where I take a bath the way most people take a shower – first thing in the morning, before I start my day. There is this perception that baths are for bedtime, but I want to start my day with the relaxation and calm that taking a bath provides. I want to be energized and begin my day on a high note. This is not to say everyone needs to start their day with a bath, or even that everyone needs to be a morning person, but being intentional about how you step into your day can be a significant step toward practicing self-care, rather than after-care.
I naturally wake up between 6:30am and 7:30am, but I get myself up at 5:30am, because I don’t like to start my day with obligations to anything or anyone. I want to read a book, stare at a wall, look at a magazine, drink some tea, and generally do whatever I want to do, before I have to get kids ready and off to school, or think about breakfast or work. I just want some alone time. That is one of the ways I practice preventative self-care.
When I don’t take that time, I am not at my best. I’m a little moody and my temper is a little shorter, because my day is well underway and I haven’t had the chance to do anything for myself. Instead, I’ve started my day pouring into other people, instead of pouring into me. Now, you don’t have to take a whole hour to pour into yourself, but if you could just wake up ten or twenty minutes earlier and do something that feeds your mind, body and spirit, it could make all the difference.
Also, just like baths aren’t just for bedtime, you don’t have to limit your self-care to your morning routine either. I self-nurture all day. I am using essential oils. I am surrounded by plants. I am drinking my favorite teas. My water bottle is close by, and I am making sure to drink from it every so often. I am keeping my lips moisturized. Some of us don’t notice we’re dehydrated until our lips are chapped and bleeding. In order to really practice self-care we have to incorporate it throughout the day.
We get caught up living in crisis-mode. We are managing the problem instead of preventing the problem. We find ourselves in the emergency room because we don’t have primary care providers and can’t remember the last time we had a check-up.
But, we don’t have to wait to care for ourselves until something is wrong. Self-care is preventative. It is used to stay well and maintain our peace no matter what is happening. When we practice self-care, and something triggering comes up, it doesn’t send us into the same tailspin.
Making care a regular part of your routine allows it to function so much better than when you wait to implement your care strategies when you’re in crisis. As you approach creating a self-care routine, ask yourself the following questions:
1. What makes you feel well and cared for?
2. What do you do to take care of yourself on a daily basis?
3. What practices do you engage in regularly to nurture yourself?
4. How do you engage your support system in your care?
5. What preventative measures are you taking to care for your mind, body, and spirit, so that you don’t end up in crisis?
Reflecting on these questions is a good starting place, but the truth is, you already know what you need to do to feel well – you just need to start doing it. Once self-care becomes a regular part of your life, you will have less need for crisis-care.
Nedra is wearing the Pardon My French Maxi Dress and Lotta Love Romper.
Self-care is everywhere you look.
Folks practice Self-Care Sunday, tagging trips to the spa with #selfcare, but in reality, a lot of us are practicing after-care or crisis-management care. These types of care kick in when we are already depleted. We wait until we are triggered, or until there is an emergency that forces us to pay attention to our needs and offer ourselves some nurturing. After someone makes us angry, we start taking some deep breaths. After our edges have fallen out we start oiling our scalp. After we’re burnt out we take a girls’ trip with our friends. After we have a long day and are feeling exhausted, we take a bath.
There are some days where I take a bath the way most people take a shower – first thing in the morning, before I start my day. There is this perception that baths are for bedtime, but I want to start my day with the relaxation and calm that taking a bath provides. I want to be energized and begin my day on a high note. This is not to say everyone needs to start their day with a bath, or even that everyone needs to be a morning person, but being intentional about how you step into your day can be a significant step toward practicing self-care, rather than after-care.
I naturally wake up between 6:30am and 7:30am, but I get myself up at 5:30am, because I don’t like to start my day with obligations to anything or anyone. I want to read a book, stare at a wall, look at a magazine, drink some tea, and generally do whatever I want to do, before I have to get kids ready and off to school, or think about breakfast or work. I just want some alone time. That is one of the ways I practice preventative self-care.
When I don’t take that time, I am not at my best. I’m a little moody and my temper is a little shorter, because my day is well underway and I haven’t had the chance to do anything for myself. Instead, I’ve started my day pouring into other people, instead of pouring into me. Now, you don’t have to take a whole hour to pour into yourself, but if you could just wake up ten or twenty minutes earlier and do something that feeds your mind, body and spirit, it could make all the difference.
Also, just like baths aren’t just for bedtime, you don’t have to limit your self-care to your morning routine either. I self-nurture all day. I am using essential oils. I am surrounded by plants. I am drinking my favorite teas. My water bottle is close by, and I am making sure to drink from it every so often. I am keeping my lips moisturized. Some of us don’t notice we’re dehydrated until our lips are chapped and bleeding. In order to really practice self-care we have to incorporate it throughout the day.
We get caught up living in crisis-mode. We are managing the problem instead of preventing the problem. We find ourselves in the emergency room because we don’t have primary care providers and can’t remember the last time we had a check-up.
But, we don’t have to wait to care for ourselves until something is wrong. Self-care is preventative. It is used to stay well and maintain our peace no matter what is happening. When we practice self-care, and something triggering comes up, it doesn’t send us into the same tailspin.
Making care a regular part of your routine allows it to function so much better than when you wait to implement your care strategies when you’re in crisis. As you approach creating a self-care routine, ask yourself the following questions:
1. What makes you feel well and cared for?
2. What do you do to take care of yourself on a daily basis?
3. What practices do you engage in regularly to nurture yourself?
4. How do you engage your support system in your care?
5. What preventative measures are you taking to care for your mind, body, and spirit, so that you don’t end up in crisis?
Reflecting on these questions is a good starting place, but the truth is, you already know what you need to do to feel well – you just need to start doing it. Once self-care becomes a regular part of your life, you will have less need for crisis-care.
Nedra is wearing the Pardon My French Maxi Dress and Lotta Love Romper.
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