The Realist’s Guide To Ritual

When you search the term “ritual” online, you may come across articles that look like this: “10 Morning Rituals Successful People Do Every Day,” “How to End Your Evenings so You Accomplish More the Next Day,” or our personal favorite, “The Night and Morning Routine That Will Change Your Life.” It seems that even something as simple as creating a practice for the sole purpose of enjoyment is being primed for optimization.

Frankly, that’s not what we’re after when it comes to ritual creation. In fact, your “ritual” doesn’t have to be about anything other than making yourself feel good. And according to the experts (and our FP team), that can come in many forms.

Let’s start with habit forming. According to Psychology Today, “habits are built through learning and repetition.” Simple enough. To get a little more technical with it, true habit forming occurs when a certain cue is linked with a certain behavioral response. Brushing your teeth before bed is a great example–your body starts to feel tired, you are cued to begin your night time routine, you instinctively brush your teeth. There has been enough time and repetition to make this action nearly subconscious, i.e. a habit.

Ultimately, the distinction between a habit and a ritual comes down to intention. While habits are beneficial because an everyday action becomes automated, rituals benefit us by their inherent call for mindfulness. According to sociologist Robert Wuthnow, “rituals are any actions or events that have symbolic meaning beyond their instrumental value.”

Because “ritual” feels like a term that conveys a sense of importance, it’s easy to think that creating rituals in your own life isn’t as easy and accessible as it actually is.

Creating a ritual for yourself is less about adding another task to your to-do list and more about choosing and designing an intentional, grounding activity that brings you joy. Our recommendation? Keep it simple.

-Determine Your Intention

Maybe you need to take a little extra time to connect with yourself. Maybe you want to make more of an effort to get outside and appreciate nature every day. Maybe you recognize that you feel more centered when you shower in the evening rather than in the morning. It can be about anything. Before determining what your ritual is, it can be helpful to decide how that ritual will serve you.

-Design Your Practice

With your intention in mind, think through some actions that could help you express it. For example, maybe your intention is to slow down and take in the world around you. You might manifest this into action by lighting a candle in the evening and really engaging your senses or using a specific hand cream at your desk every day to build in a moment of pause. It really can be that simple and these small acts can be surprisingly effective.

-Make It a Habit

With your intention set and your practice at the ready, simply start incorporating it where you can. A ritual doesn’t need to involve a complete revamping of your day or a full inventory of your physical health. You don’t need to become someone who writes manifestations on post-it notes or has perfected their downward dog. Terms like “ritual” are not solely reserved for those who commodify the wellness world - they’re yours to claim, too. And they really can be beneficial and healing, whatever that looks like for you.

Need some ritual inspo? Take it from our team members.

“I like to turn on my candle warmer and lantern/warm room lighting + read a book! Sometimes I drink chamomile tea if I'm feeling crazy.”

“Evening stretching!! It’s such a nice way to feel connected to your body and has such great health benefits.”

“I truly do my skincare routine without fail morning and night, no matter how tired I am. I always wash my face, use toner, serum, and moisturizer.”

“My mom always sits outside on our patio to eat breakfast and bird-watches/tends to plants - she's way better than me at routines and I think it's such a sweet way to start your day.”

“A walk after work is super necessary for me to decompress. It’s just a walk, but it feels like a ritual.”

“I keep an appointment with myself to read every morning. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, I’ve found that building my morning around coffee, my couch, and my book helps me connect with myself before re-entering the world.”